As parents we always want whats best for our child and we try everything under the sun to make sure we are the best when it comes to taking care of our kids. My son Shane was very hyperactive till the age of 5 and there were days when I wished I could lock myself in a room away from him but that’s never going to happen right?
As a baby he was quite active!He tried standing in his playpen at 5 months and started walking at 7 months. I had to get back to work after 4 months of maternity leave which was pretty ok considering many moms in UAE only get 45 days maternity leave. But leaving him was the hardest part as I used to cry the previous night & every morning telling my husband, ‘why do I have to go, why do I have to leave him?’ I was clueless, worried and being a new parent was tough. Work was driving me crazy as well!
I had my mom to take care of him while I was at work which was a blessing but since my son was quite hyperactive it was never easy for her nor me. Being a new mom meant learning new things, dealing with post pregnancy stress, depression and anxiety. I was dealing with almost all the postpartum symptoms and I lost all hope. Work was getting hectic and it drove me crazy and I felt I was drifting apart from my child by just focusing on things that others wanted me to do. That’s when I decided to quit my job and spend more time with my son and help myself to understand the whole parenting thing. I quite sucked at it to be honest but that never stopped me. I kept reading things online, trying things to keep my son busy or occupied.
Being a sensitive mom myself it used to be overwhelming at first as I really didn’t know what I was doing 😢 I used to feel upset and give up hope. Then I started taking things a bit easy as getting worked up or stressed out only made things worse for Shane and me. Shane being very sensitive used to cry if I got angry or yelled at him and that made me realise that I was doing it all wrong. I stopped seeking answers from the internet sites and decided to do what I felt I would want since I was a sensitive child myself and expected a lot from my mom but back then my mom had to deal with me and my siblings so it wasn’t really easy for her!
These are a few things I tried with Shane and to be honest it has helped him and I’m really happy with his progress. His hyperactivity has improved a lot and now he knows where to channel his extra energy. Hyperactive kids can be very sensitive so we have to be patient to see the results as every child is different.
1. Never push your child to do things he’s not comfortable with. Being a new mom I used to push Shane to do things and I realised it made him more stubborn and hyper. Let them take their time to do the things they are supposed to do whether it’s studies, writing, reading etc. The more we push, they eventually lose interest or rather resent learning or doing that particular thing in the long run.
2.Communicate more with your child. Keep an eye contact with him/her while you speak so that he feels assured that you are trying to help him. The child needs to feel that we as moms do care about them and we are there for them at all times. Kids need all our undivided attention so that they can feel comfortable talking to us about things that bother them at school or at home.
3.Fool around with your kid..Yes! You heard it right. Kids love it if we act their age or be like them as they expect us to be their friend than just be a parent all the time. My son used to love taking silly selfies with him and he used to giggle endlessly asking me to do more. That way he loved spending more time with me as I used to do exactly the same things he did. He even used to listen to me and not throw tantrums. This not only helps your kid but you feel less stressed as well.
4.Never discipline them too much as that will only make things worse for you. Timeouts are good but you need to explain to your kid why exactly is he getting a timeout. He needs to understand why did you punish him/her and what he/she did wrong or else the child will be confused and will keep repeating the same mistakes again. Also yelling at them won’t solve any of the problems.
5.Kids love to be messy and it’s OK to allow them to do activities that involves a lot of messy play and just doing things that they love. I used to give my son water paints, poster colours, play doh which he loved using on the long sheets of plastic/paper I used to put on the floor so even if he messed up, the paper/plastic could be disposed. This helped him expel his energy more and he used to love it. Even I also used to get involved which made him even more happier!
6.Lego building blocks was really helpful as it not only made my Shane imaginative but it also made him less hyper as he was busy focused on what he build and was very excited to show me his creations 😀 Shane loves his Lego and he’s always looking forward to build new things just to impress me 😍
7.Sensitive kids need a lot of love as they are very vulnerable and need to feel that they are loved and cared for every time. I tell Shane I love you and give him a tight hug before he goes to sleep, he feels pampered and cared. If not always, at times if you tell them ‘I love you’ they feel very happy. Sensitive kids are the most loving and caring.
8.Allow your kids to ask questions and talk to you more about their doubts as kids might have questions inside their minds which needs to come out without fear. My son used to fear a lot to tell/ask me certain things but I used to assure him that he has nothing to worry as I wouldn’t get upset or annoyed with what he asks or tells. Some questions can be shocking but calm down and just be honest, after all they are just kids and we need to guide them.
9.Swimming is a great activity if your child has a lot of energy. I used to take Shane for swimming thrice a week and he used to love it.
10.Read books to your child and ask him/her questions about the story. This is a good practice for all kids whether hyperactive or sensitive as it helps them with their imagination and helps them think out of the box.
11.Avoid food with high sugar like biscuits, flavoured milk, chocolates, candies and even refined sugar as it can increase hyperactivity in kids. Try to include more Organic products in your kids diet as refined sugar products are said to trigger moods swings and hypersensitivity even in kids.
12.Omega 3 is the best supplement for hyperactive kids and I used to give Shane gummy bears as advised by his pediatrician. Omega 3 is good for brain development as well.
13.Stop listening to others if you think the advice/tips is too overwhelming and it isn’t working for you as a parent. You don’t have to try everything others do including me as we all are different and unique. Don’t beat yourself if things don’t work out as it’s not the end of the world for you parents!
The above tips were personally tried by me for my son Shane and it has helped him and I couldn’t be happier. The main focus should be to motivate your child and keep him busy with activities. Please understand that all kids aren’t the same and our approach would be different for each child so results may also vary.
Thank you for reading my post and please do post your honest comments 😊